Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
