apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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