Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
