I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
