Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
