they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
