My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
