i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
