i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
