broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Randomize
