The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
