I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
