Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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