Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
