We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
