just tell him i said nine months
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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