Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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