Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
