Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
