i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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