marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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