The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
