the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
