Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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