and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
