And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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