ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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