Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
