My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
