its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
