And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
