I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
