Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
