I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm like, not good at living.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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