id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
