I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
