i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
