i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
do herpes really smell.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
