Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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