I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
