I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
