I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The adults are the big ones right?
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