you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
