Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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