In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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