I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize
