Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
