Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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