I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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