It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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