We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
