she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
