I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
