I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
